hi:

seeing your friends when you’re with a really cute person

image

(via tyleroakley)

dontbedead:

when i find myself in times of trouble

ellen degeneres comes to me

(Source: alsocool, via tyleroakley)

Timestamp: 1398255167

pruderanch:

200% sure that all of my friend have secret meetings where they just talk about how annoying I am

(Source: religiousmom, via tyleroakley)

jeremymcbitchin:

Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.

(via tyleroakley)

Anonymous:
spoiler alert: they all die in the end

tsarbucks:

communistbakery:

what is this a spoiler for ??

life

grumpys:

i hate when you’re not in the same mood as your friend like when you want to slay your enemies and feast on their flesh and your friend wants to dance in a field of daisies and sing for the sake of singing like no stop that grab a pitchfork

(via tyleroakley)

  • Friend: go ask
  • Me: no you go ask
  • Friend: no you
  • Me: fine can i have ketchup

lesbianathogwarts:

bashdoard:

Ancient Roman prostitutes did something similar, but usually they would have phalluses inscribed in their sandals. So, if you were ever in the mood, you could just look down and follow the dicks.

follow the yellow dick-road

(Source: sve-sto-imam-nemamm, via tyleroakley)

Timestamp: 1398254878

brie3po:

janebuzjane:

thoughtkiller:

clavid:

eloquentvibes:

clavid:

on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

one crack cocaine

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

debit or credit

I actually have a gift card

(via tyleroakley)

theunitedchurchofshrek:

yourtubes:

reblog if your url represents who you really are 

Do you have a moment to discuss our lord and saviour Shrek?

(via tyleroakley)

imp3rfectious:

distimiya:

don’t let tumblr make you believe that

-smoking is cool

-being a narcissistic bitch is acceptable

-trusting nobody is healthy

-starving yourself will make you beautiful

-hating everybody is okay

- that working hard for grades isn’t worth the time

- that having mental health condition is a perk

- that self harm should be romanticized

- that abusive and codependent relationships are cute

- that not being in a minority makes you any less of a person

(via iamsuchafuckinlady)